7 Lessons from Road Trip

Yo peeps, just got back from an interesting road trip during our winter break~

Here's the 7 MAIN lessons i've learned from our adventures... hehe...

-oNe-
I, yes I... Felicia the bakchi.... CAN read maps and navigate!!!!!!!
(woah.. i'm equally impressed myself..haha..)


-tW0-
I've also learned to count my blessings and stop complaining about how boring is Auckland...
(When one have experienced pitch darkness and zero activities after 4 pm everyday in smaller towns of New Zealand.... one learn to appreciate the city......)


-thRee-
I am quite the mother...
(Having to push and rush them every single day... let me rephrase.. every single time so that we can be on schedule... swt.. Life is hard....)
-foUr-
Snow is just shaved ice...
(But i still get very excited about it though... haha...)


-fiVe-
Skiing is NOT my sport... my talents are elsewhere... haha..
(Sorry darls... i've tried.... but i've failed miserably.... Lol... it was ugly... but i will still go for the sight-seeing k... hehe...)


-s!x-
Fast food should be the last resort!
(So sick of McD, Burger King and KFC... I need proper and decent food!!!!)


-seVen-
Only Auckland looks like an Asian city....
(We are rare species in smaller parts of New Zealand... kakakakaka...)

*this is Auckland - dominated by Asians...*

Most importantly,

We had a great time ;)

Weirdest Pre-Exam Encounter!!!!!

Before i start...allow me to scream and shreak... FREEeeeeeeDDoooOOOmmm!!!!!!!!!!!

*clears throat.. gain composure...*

Well.. Let the story begin...

Yesterday was my last paper for my 1st semester... Gosh.. Can't believe i have actually finished a semester in Auckland... Time does fly.. It seems just like yesterday when i first landed on Auckland ground after 10 hours of discomfort, and finding everything surreal....

Enough of detours... Back to the story...

The day started off pretty bad... I was having stomach upsets since waking up... and was a frequent user of our toilet.. (no details needed)... in my heart i kept praying, "Lord, just take away the pain, and help me through".. which i was later very thankful for...

Owen. G. Glenn's Building

Then, when we were on our way to the exam hall in the Owen. G. Glenn's Building (our super stylish and expensive looking School of Business in University of Auckland), my right eye contact lense fell out... and i started to panic.. because we were supposed to be in the hall in no time... The first thought that came to my mind was... i need a toilet!!!!! and........ the nearest one was actually a toilet for the disabled...

For some reason, my ego sank in, and i just refused to use it.. till sze wei had to practically forced me to use it as im just gonna use the mirror (which does make sense...lol) SOooo, i sucked in all my pride... and opened the door that read "Vacant".......

............
...................
..........................

The unexpected happened.....................

............

...................

....................................

a guy was inside.......................

...... SHITTING....................................

..................................

...with the door unlocked...................

..................................

........he doesn't seem disabled.....................


i was so shocked!
he was so shocked!
i slammed the door!
i ran!
i grabbed sze wei and escaped!
........
and we laughed.......... hysterically..............

Goshhhhh....................

tell me that's the weirdest pre-exam encounter ever.... hahahahahaha.....

Me* coolest parents ;)

Me* have the coolest parents of all~
Not only me* parents are the first ones to read my blogs and keep updated with the ongoing events of me* life... They are supportive and yet give honest advice that could slap me back into reality...

Am always proud that me* could share anything and everything with my parents... (Although me* do keep some little secrets to me*self... shhhhh...)

Bottomline, me* just want to let the world know that me* is proud of me* parents... and me* LOVE me* parents muchy muchy~




p/s. me* is used to replace the overusage of "I" just for fun... tq ;)

Crush... came crushing down??? Nah... *giggles*

*Blush*

I think... me like this guy... *giggles*

Haha... The feeling of having a crush on someone... Gosh.. it feels like high school all over again...

How should I put this... all this while when i like a person, somehow it is mutual, and both parties make an effort to "narrow the gap"..kekekeke... But now... I really don't know...

He's a little too good to be true.. (well, at least in my context)...
(to all my darlings... stop laughing... haha..)

In a way, he managed to fulfill 9 out of my 10 "fantasy requirements"... (notice the term used... what to do, the harsh reality forced me to be more realistic... @_@)

Yet, what attracts me most to him is actually his BIG heart for Jesus and His ministry~

I am pleasantly surprised by his maturity beyond his age...

And I would love to share his visions and work alongside him...


Hmmm... yet, i always get really nervous when I see him... To be honest, we hardly ever have any conversations at all... Lol... Gosh... and im supposed to be Felicia the sampat, or at least Felicia the talkative one... Man... this is not good for the image... kekekekekeke...

Well.. since i'm still supposed to be "in mourning" after my past experience.. i'm not gonna rush into anything... To be frank, there's nothing for me to rush into as well... it's just a crush ;)

i like this feeling...

This tingling feeling that makes me giggle like a silly girl once a while...


The old me is back!

Yay! *winks*

I love to shower~ huhu

I love to shower...

Especially during odd hours...

I guess its because of that personal time...

Or maybe its the hot water pouring down my head... Forcing me to think clearly... And stop dwelling in blindness and denial...



During showers...

I picture the possibilities of my actions...

I reflect on my day...

I think of the guy i have a crush on... *giggles*

I plan my attire... (big task..lol)

I sing...

I pray and cry out to God...

I sob hard...

I compose songs...

I dance... (haha... secret's out)

I consider my options...

Basically, I just enjoy my showers... Haha...




(don't really know what's the point of this blog entry... well... blogs are meant to be random thoughts right? Hehe...)

My Name.. My Pride...

Ok... was pretty frustrated... i mean... super frustrated....
i do LOVE my name... that's why i'm being very very frustrated... Lol...
It is just SO WEIRD...
in Malaysia, where of course it is an Asian country... people has no problem pronouncing my name correctly...
BUT in New Zealand!!!!!! Oh man.............. *frustrated*

Okok... i got to be fair.... it's not the kiwis... but rather the Asians-that-flooded-Auckland-and-made-Auckland -looked-like-an-Asian-city... *phew*

I do admit i have my fair share of creative nicknames since i was young...
ranging from
Lulu
Felikulu

黑裤走
Bak chi
Malaysia.. etc...
But at least... its not the pronunciation...

Here in NZ.. for some reason... my name is so "unique"... people keep mixing up my name...
My chinese colleagues in foodtown, even my supervisors... have difficulties in calling my name correctly...
i ended up being called...
fe ci lia
philissa
fei li sia
feh li see ya
lee sia
feh see...

arghhhh..........

so..........................................
as a clarification,

my name is FELICIA
and is pronounced as feh-LEE-shah.
It is of Latin origin, and its meaning is "lucky, fortunate, happy"
It is the feminine form of Felix.

and once again....

i LOVE my name...

and i would be extremely happy if it is pronounced correctly...... hehehe....

Mmuackss~

Ins and Outs of my 2 weeks~

was reading through Jarod's blog... From an eventful week, he moved on to an interesting week... which led me to reflect on my week as well... to be honest.. i did pretty well myself aye~ haha...

let me see... i was pretty free since the 6th of June... Evil as it sounds, we were practically partiying and enjoying our freedom to the max while others were occupying Uni's library and Student Commons .. digging into piles and piles of books.. Although we have been quite defensive, i do agree that Education students seem to be having a much better life if compared to most students... hahaha... (oopsss... the secret is out..)

besides having more time to work in Foodtown, i have been indulging in lots of movies and dramas... all thanks to http://www.mysoju.com...
*Clears throat* i know its not exactly productive... but i find it really funny how what i used to think would only happen in drama series can actually happen in real life... In a way, i actually learned lots of lessons from the shows...

For starters, Zettai Kareshi.. a story about the ideal boyfriend in the form of a robot... Although it is one ridiculous idea to many... it actually challenges one to think what is "ideal" in our minds... where and how are we searching for our absolute desire... will we ever be satisfied.....


To name a few, these are the movies i have watched...
Virgin Snow, Seducing Mr Perfect, Le Grand Chef, My Boyfriend is Type B, My Tutor Friend 2, Unstoppable Marriage, Volcano High, Windstruck, Kung Fu Dunk, Forbidden Kingdom, 27 Dresses.. etc... Erhem....i just realised it is quite a list... haha....

But speaking of movies... i really enjoyed Sex and the City the Movie... Although i had never watched the series before... i was basically tearing throughout the movie...

I may not be a gal who put much emphasis on designer labels and New York lifestyle... Yet it was a pleasant surprise how we can relate to the characters~ It doesn't matter how we look outwardly...or how was our "packaging" like...coz deep down inside, we are just humans... yearning for love, comfort, security... But as for me, i know i can look for all those in God! Amen ;)


Of course i do DO productive activities....hehe...
Well.. have i mentioned that i do work and earn money... yea... i did...
Ermm.... oh yea... i went to church services and events... Currently, am attending two services on Sundays... If i could, i would love to attend all three... Its just awesome to be in the presence of the Lord... Great worship, great sermon, great people, great anointing of the Lord.. what's not to love? *wink*

As i am involved in the international student ministry - the conversational class... we had our class outing to La Pochetta and Chocolate Boutique after our Friday class... However, there were certain misunderstandings between us and the La Pochetta staff... In the end, there were not enough seats for a few of us... So Wira, Lind Say and I willingly "sacrificed" ourselves and settled for Burger Fuel... haha... It was still a great deal though... love loVE LOVE the burgers... hehe... oohhh.. C N Cheese...is just so fattening.... haha... totally loved it...

they are as big as our faces o @_@

After a very satisfying dinner.. we moved on to Chocolate Boutique~

It is a very pretty shop.. would have been the perfect place to chill and hang out with some friends when its not so crowded though... Was quite immersed with all the pretty chocolates in the store.. it was just a little too cramped up as their business was pretty good that night.. ( we were among the major contributors...)

Well, i managed to have my good share of choc without spending a dollar though... all I had to do is to say thank you in advance to Lind Say, Ed... and arigatou gozaimasu to Shota...and tada... free delights... kekekekeke... (typical felicia the thick-skinned...hehe..)

Oh oh oh.. how could i forget....I, yes, I, Felicia Peh Yi Ting went to WWE Smack Down!!!!!!!!!!!
Having not a clue what's the buzz behind watching big guys yelling at each another and slamming the opponent mercilessly... i sort of conformed to peer pressure and decided to just go for the "cultural exposure"..lol..
was getting ready for the show... don really know what to dress up as... wanted to go for the "ganas" look... haih... in the end just settled for some eye liner... haha...

Vectorarena was starting to fill up.. what amazed me most is that there were MANY families with young KIDSSSSSS... i mean MANY.... Don't really understand why... don't think the response will be so well in Malaysia though...

Batista's entrance

Batista's opponent - Kennedy... (the supposed-to-be-coward-aka-underdog, Batista bashed him up quite bad... but Kennedy played dirty and got Batista down in the end.. much to the crowds' dismay... which could be judged by the amount of swearing and shouting that followed after..)

of course.. they wouldn't let the crowd go back angry... so Undertaker came to save the night...(much to the crowds' delight which could be judged by the crowd's cheering..swt..)

and yea.. they both teamed up and gave Kennedy quite a whacking...

Basically, the $55 ticket was well-worthed... the show lasted for more than 4 hours!!!!!!!!! and finally i got to recognise Batista, Kane and Undertaker... okok... im a beginner k...
I would say it was "entertaining" yet really fake at the same time... i get the whole idea of people wanting to see action, delight in watching others hurt and not themselves for a change... hmmm... but... maybe all they need is God... to find their purpose in life... which will bring way more delight than indulging in others' pain...

basically, thats pretty much what went through my life... during a short period of 2 weeks...

there were a couple of more sensitive issues and dramas that i went through... but i shall just focus on the more delightful events ;)

that's all from me for the moment~

Felicia. Out. ^o^

Love from Home ^o^

Finally... my parcels from Malaysia have arrived!!!!!!!!!!! Although i knew roughly what were in those two boxes... but the thought of receiving something from home sweet home just feels great.. *giggles*


Looking at those two boxes... i just couldn't conceal the joy leaping within me... i even stopped wira when she's on her way to work.. just to show off my two parcels... haha...(although she just received her parcel from william as well..)

And then.. the whole process of reaping off the brown paper was fun... err... reaping is fun... No?
*clears throat*.. well... tada!!!!


Gosh.... i was so touched... i was nearly in tears... (and im not exaggerating okay..) and i have all the reasons to be happy... Why? because i told my parents i really miss Ruski Tomyam, especially when the weather is cold and all... and they were telling me they couldn't find it in Taiping.. (which i'm awfully aware of the difficulty of getting Ruski Tomyam in Taiping..) So, being a good and understanding daughter, i settled for Pama Tomyam (which is of course not as good as Ruski...) Little did i know..... there were RUSKI TOMYAM in the parcel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Apparently, my parents went to Ipoh to get me my Ruski Tomyam!!!!! *sniff sniff* Im touched beyond words.... thank you mummy daddy~ Love you guys lots!

Well.. what do we have in the parcels???
Packets of Ruski Tomyam, Pama Tomyam, and Shin Ramyun...
1 year supply of Kotex..( haha.. well.. the lady at the post office actually asked my mum whetehr they sell pads here.. well... ppl in nz prefer to use tampons... which i would never understand the art behind it... and pads cost a lot over here.. just to give you a better idea.. if you convert, 1 piece of pad costs nearly RM2!!!!!!)
1 year supply of my Oxy Cover
1 year supply of contact lenses
... and 4 sets of Pierre Cardin lingerie... hehehehe.... (quoting from my mum... "i bought you 5 sets, 1 pattern, 5 colours!!!!) Of course, i have to ask her again later..why is there only 4??? Lol..

So basically i'm rich now.. not in terms of money and materials... but in terms of love... these two parcels of goods aren't just things to sustain me through my stay in New Zealand... But they are evidence that i am well-loved =)

I'm so happy right now... it doesn't even matter if i have to work in Foodtown again later... was tired and lazy.. but im just so pumped up at the moment....

Thanks papa mama.... Love you guys so so MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! Mmmuackkss ~

Evidence that God has been faithful =)

Hmm... I believe its only appropriate after revealing the downs of my life, i should also highlight God's faithfulness... especially after that incident... So how did i cope with life after my birthday??? *Drumrolls*

UMSA Malaysian Food Night... was surrounded by Malaysians... duh... Great friends who kept me happy~

moving on to...
special green tea dessert.. a treat by John to cheer me up...

then..

special cooking session with wira, sze wei and yee huang~
and the results.. haha..
spicy fried chicken, black pepper lamb, sesame oil chicken, vege with oyster sauce, scramble egg with onions... yum yum..

well.. we partied as well..
oohhh... Boogiewonderland is one of a kind... a club that plays only 60-80's songs... rather cool aye..

of course there were all the great events organised by church...
such as the fondue party...

while waiting for the food to be set up..
we got a lil crazy.. haha.. (showing off our new boots.. woohoo..)
having lots of fun taking pics even when we were eating...

It was definitely one of the better nights after the incident..

surrounded by awesome people,
laughter, and CHOCOLATES....
ooohhh...
what could be better??? haha..

not forgetting.. my first ever fishing experience!!!!!!
man... cant believe Felicia Peh Yi Ting will actually fall for fishing... love it... did not too bad myself.. caught 5 fish on my own and another 4 together with Sze Wei ..hehe..

with "the man"... oops... i forgot his name... *paiseh*
and finally with Charles... who made the trip happen.. =)

there were lots lots more... man.. don't have the pictures to those lovely memories...
(Below events are not in order... blame my poor memory..haha)
Spanish lunch with Ivan, Ryoma and Cindy
UMSA Movie Night - Indianna Jones
Incredible church services - Healing Service, Equippers Women, Conversation class
International Banquet
Fishmarket outing with Ivan and Cindy
Chinese porridge dinner with Cindy, Sze Wei, Lind Say, Roger, Rayvin, Ivan and Timo
Shopping and lunch with Con and Sze Wei
Lovely Wellington people's Visit!!!!
Lots of assignments, tests, and working shifts... haha...
Devanport trip
Mission Bay lunch
Equippers Uni Leaders Dinner at Aaron's Place
and lots lots more...

Basically, every fun i had, every laughter i let out... I count them as blessings from God~
and the reason i'm still alive and well,
with so many wonderful people around...
is worth giving praise for =)

wait for more of my updates...
more of God's blessings to be shared and testified ^o^

Lots of <3>

The X Files - The Untold Story of My 21st

this blog is specially written to clarify all the doubts out there... it took me some time to actually have the courage to face this reality.. but right now.. im just glad to announce that God has been great.. and im MOVING ON~

Episode 1
Hours before my birthday, i got close with J... Yet to be honest, i didn't know where i stand... i knew i like him big time, and i knew he felt the same for me...

Little did i know, Wira and Sze Wei planned a surprise birthday for me.. which was really touching.. and he turned up for it... immediately everyone assumed that he was my boyfriend while Lindsay and Alvin happily gave me their blessings... i on the other hand, was still trying to digest the whole thing... it was just too fast... and it was just all too sudden... and he just put his arm around me, declaring to my friends that he is my boyfriend... Let's just say, i knew my new status at the same time with the rest.. yet, i just felt loved and happy...

Episode 2
So on my birthday itself, we had an outing to Sylvia Park (which is supposed to be the largest shopping mall in New Zealand) with our friends from conversational class... he decided that he did not want to miss out such an event on my birthday although he pulled a one-nighter on his projects... Of course i was touched... and thought nothing could be better... i just did not realised that things could be worse... worse than i could ever imagine...

Episode 3
the beginning of the trip was awesome, him by my side, mingling with my friends, we chat, we played, we laughed.... Until he broke the news to me privately, that his ex had been texting and calling him since last night.. asking for a reconciliation or a closure... i just went quiet... didn't know what to think... and he kept reassuring me that he will sort it out with her tonight and for the meantime he just wanted to celebrate my birthday with me...

Episode 4
However, his phone kept vibrating and it became so distracting that we couldn't even carry on with our lunch... he took me out for a talk... saying that he should go to her and end it now... Before i could react, tears just rolled down from my eyes and he hugged me tight...
I told him," I just found you, I don't want to lose you now."
He told me," I love you more than you could love me.. just trust in me... and I will be back."
with that, i gave him my blessings... Little did i know, that was the last time i saw him.

Episode 5
I just couldn't concentrate or tried to have fun anymore after he left.. to be honest, the drama was a little too much for me to handle... whose boyfriend's ex would choose to ask for reconciliation or closure on the new girlfriend's 21st birthday until the boyfriend has to leave the girlfriend alone to face questions by concerned friends on his whereabouts????? I looked at wira, and asked whether we could just go home... and we went home... and i just cried and cried and cried...
to make things worst, my friends kept texting me and some even called me from overseas to wish me happy birthday... my parents called me a few times to ask me how did my birthday go... all i could do was blow my nose and tried to sound as cheerful as i could when my phone rang...
All i could say was... that was one horrible and long night... and it was supposed to be my 21st birthday...

Episode 6
Initially, he kept calling to check on me... He told me things got really nasty and his parents even had to intervene... He admitted he did not handle the last case well, so there's a lot that he has to deal with.. and his parents did not want him to start a new relationship when there was such a mess and his major exams were just around the corner... I was scared... so i asked him what should i do then... practically all the people i knew in New Zealand knew about his existence because he showed up, what was i to answer??? He said, just tell them that my boyfriend is busy in the meantime but he will be back soon, and he will make up for everything... I trusted him... I trusted God ( because i did believe he was the one)... and I tried to be as cheerful as i could in work, in uni, in church...

Episode 7
One fine day, he asked me not to call him or text him because things which i wouldn't understand were happening... but he would call me that night to explain... So, i wanted to be understanding... i did what he told me... and waited all night... he didn't call... i text him, but there was no reply.. i called him, but there was no answer... it was another horrible night that i went through... dwelling in doubts, fear, insecurities...

Episode 8
He replied the next day.. asking me not to text him and call him again... and he would explain later tonight... no apologies or explanation about last night... Fine... i would just wait again... another night when by... no calls nothing... my eyes were so swollen and dark that i had to skip lecture the next day... my friends were really concerned about me.. they told me i should forget about him... but i guess im the type who doesn't commit into a relationship easily and once i have made the decision to commit, i just attached myself too much... i trusted him so much... i held all his promises without compromising... i even tried to think from his point of view that what he was going through should be way worse than me as he had to handle so many parties.. So, whenever i was in grieve, i wrote songs for him... hoping that there would be one day when i could just sing for him as he tells me that everything is gonna be alright...

Episode 9
He quit from his work and changed his number... NO ONE had his contacts.. Alvin who used to be quite close with him, couldn't even contact him... I was more depressed and disturbed than ever.. i guess it was all those unanswered questions and uncertainties that were driving me crazy.. For goodness sake, i don't even know whether he is alive! I don't even know whether im being silly waiting for something in vain!
and then... i had this encounter of near abduction after work... just 3 days after my birthday...
It was the worst week of my life... i don't think i've ever cried that much before...

Episode 10
To keep the story short, more than 1 month passed and there was still no sign of him... everyone thought i've moved on... but deep down inside there was still this hope within me... every night in my prayers, i asked God for his guidance and wisdom... i knew i need to move on...
Came one day, there was just this burden in my heart, and i wrote him a very long email..... telling him that i've been waiting, asking for explanation and whether i should still wait (emailing him is the only way i could contact him after he changed his number... he doesn't reply all emails though... but his last email to me was that he appreciated me waiting - which led me to wonder what he meant..hmmm...)
In a way, i was prepared that he would not reply.. but it felt really good to release all those uncertainties which were kept within me...

Episode 11
His reply came a few days after the email was sent... it was nerve-wrecking just to wait for msn page to appear and all... i kept mumbling under my breath "God, whatever it is, keep me strong" repeatedly... and behold... his reply was..
" i don't know what to say.. im sorry.. please move on... i think i still love my ex.."
To my utmost surprise, i was relieved.................. Man... it felt so good to have an answer... to be sure that he's not worth it... to be sure that i could now go ahead with my life and put the past between us behind me... to be sure that gone are the days of living in denial and reading through his messages again and again believing he would be back although everyone on earth were telling me i deserved better...
the first words from my mouth after i read the email was.. "Thank you Jesus!" and tears came rolling down again... Immediately, i deleted everything about him.. his messages, hie emails, his contacts, the songs i wrote for him, and i kept away his gifts...

Episode 12
Although it was one harsh fall... im glad i was able to stand up on my feet again... wiser, more confident, and more dependent on God... I would have like it if J and i could still be friends... but seems like i would have to leave it to God's will... Previously, the thought of mentioning about my 21st birthday would have been depressing for me, but right now, im just thankful to God that i can look back and reflect on my mistakes and learn from it..

On my part, i believed i was too fast in starting a relationship although things seemed to just happen... i guess i couldn't have agreed more with my dad that "when you think you are in control, you are actually out of control"...

Secondly, everyone had been telling me that my biggest weakness is that im too serious in a relationship and i put in too much effort and trust... i was asked to be more carefree when it comes to relationships, and enjoy the present more than focusing on the future...
Even so, i don't think i would ever change in that sense... haha... well... wouldn't it be sad if we get into a relationship knowing it would end hence we don't love as much? I may be too trusting and too serious, and may have gotten hurt so many times till im kinda afraid of heartbreaks now...it doesn't mean that i have to change myself to fit the worldly views and engage in touch 'n' go relationships... I truly believed that God would lead me to the one for me... in His own time... if i have to fall during the process, i know it is just to make me stronger and wiser, and to prepare me for what my future beholds =)

so peeps, here you go... this is one extra long explanation and clarification of my situation... i don't deny that it was not one terrible experience, but i still praise God for helping me through and guiding me towards a purpose-driven life..

God bless ;)

Blog Title Changed!

Heyo! Just a new announcement~ The writer has decided that this blog deserves a new perspective as well as a NEW Name!!!!! hehe...

well, mum and dad were right (FYI, my parents are very technology-literate, they read my blogs...), maybe the whole world can call me a bakchi, or i can act as one... but it still goes down to whether i deserve to own a title that's not edifying... I admit that i was defensive, claiming that the term "bakchi" was used in a casual way and that i was comfortable with... However, I too realised the truthfulness that lies within my parents' advice... So right here, I want to thank daddy and mummy for always being there for me, watching out for me, and praying for me~

I've learned 3 valuable lessons today~

1. I do not have to conform to the ways of the world but remember "what would Jesus do".
2. I do not have to use blogs to express negativity because i should learn to forgive.
3. Actions speak louder than words. Therefore, whatever I say or do should be edifying.

*Drumroll...*

In conclusion, there will be more emo updates from "the happy one" (FYI, Felicia does mean "the happy one").. Stay tune n be blessed =)

Love? Is it so hard to achieve?

Once upon a time, (well..not really..) i used to have girly talks with my crazy friends and we came out with a long list of traits-must-haves for our Mr. Right. Personally i believed it was due to the effects of the ever-additive idol drama series... Haha...

Well, as age is catching up, i had to discard my selfish desires gradually... if not i might have to face the risk of staying single and non-attractive, living with ten kittens, and knitting on a rocking chair for the rest of my life!!!!! NNNOOOOOoooooo!!!!!!!! *dramatic music at the background....*

*clears throat*. Therefore, i shorten my expectations to only 3.. Gleefully thinking that i was so "wise" and "down-to-earth".. To be honest, i was pretty proud of myself.. Little did i know, it was super hard to even fulfill those 3 essentials.. Gahh... Maybe i have to start learning from Jarod on how to be a good mummy to kittens after all... Dang~

Behold, my 3 must-haves:
1. He must LOVE God.
2. He must LOVE me.
3. I must LOVE him.

Seems simple enough but i kept running into guys with good prospects but only fulfilled 2 out of 3 @_@... It would be either that wonderful and rich guy is not a Christian, or a marvellous Christian who doesn't love me as much as i loved him, or a great brother in Christ whom i can't treat him more than a friend!!!!! Am getting kind of frustrated~ Lol...

People around me seems to be pretty concerned whether i will be troubled by peer pressure~ Of course it aches in the heart to see couples being all lovey-dovey while you can only warm your hands in the pockets of your wool jacket.. Of course sometimes you craved for male attention and the special tingling feeling within you that just brings excitement into your life... BUT, I've learned that heart breaks can really tear you apart, trample you on the floor, and leave a scar... If so, why then should i rush to have the warmth of the fire and either get my fingers burnt or froze myself to death when the fire is put off without notice???

You may call me old-fashioned and silly... Or even rebuke me for not fully-utilising my youth to explore this realm of love, lust and pleasure... But i am proud to be old-fashioned and silly... Because at the end of the day, my hubby gets the best of me, the whole of me. Doesn't the one whom i want to spend the rest of my life with deserve nothing but the best i could give???

Haha... More emo updates from the bakchi coming soon~

Signing out. *Mmuackkkss*

the bakchi's first blog~

Was reading Jarod's blog before chatting with him on msn and he asked me to leave a comment... To cut the whole story short, (though the story wasn't that long and complicated after all..lol..) i started this account to satisfy his demand..haha...

Man... What should be my first post then?

Maybe a lil introduction bout the writer and her beautiful lil world??? Hmmm... Let's see how it goes...

1st of May, 1987. There was a little breathe of life struggling to get out of the mother's womb to catch a glimpse of the outside world. Though she was causing havoc in her little prison, there was no doctor on duty to release the child from her cage and the mother from the unbearable pain. The mother was given insufficient painkillers and was screaming till the next morning while the father was getting restless and frustrated. Finally, at 6.37am, 2nd May 1987, a hairless baby girl was pulled out by the doctor and the dad rushed to count her fingers and toes. Happily he exclaimed, " God gave us a healthy baby!"

So this girl grew up, transforming from a total tomboy into a lady..(maybe not quite there yet..) She had her prime time becoming a head prefect in high school, hanging out in several cliques, holding few responsibilities, and becoming the teachers' pet during high school. Sometimes she does feel that God has been "unfair" as she felt that she was blessed too much if compared to others. God gave her good results, singing, dancing and acting talents, an incredible family, a good circle of friends, a great deal of confidence and dimples that she has always been proud of... To top things up, she was even blessed with three full-scholarships after her SPM examination... She could never fully understand the goodness of God.

But life for her wasn't a bed of roses from the beginning till the end... She had her share of drama in her process of growing up... Hypocrites, back-stabbers, cheating-lovers, and heart breakers going in and out... Yet she had to live up to her name, a beautiful name carefully selected by her parents - Felicia, meaning "the happy one". Therefore, she tends to hide behind the mask of a "bakchi", by being silly, bubbly, and yet proud of it. Before she knew, the mask was embedded in her, it became her, they became one.

To date, she may have some regrets in her life but she wouldn't want it in another way. She's excited about becoming a teacher as she believes she has what it takes to be an educator who inspires and makes a difference. Besides having a more intimate relationship with Jesus, she's contented on being single at the moment. She learned through the hard way that rushing into one and compromising on wrong decisions are simply unwise. She loves her life in Auckland and cant wait to unfold every single day to see what God has planned ahead for her...

She got to sign out for the moment as she still has to re-edit her assignment due tomorrow.

Till then~ Chow & God Bless @(^w^)@